a moment to refocusonlife ~ dented

Hey everyone!

Today, I drove to to Wilson and Raleigh for work. When I'm driving, I like to look around. I like to look at the other drivers, the cars on the road, the houses and neighborhoods beside the road. Yes, I know I'm a stalker, but when you drive as much as I do, you have to entertain yourself, right?

a dent to fix: gray beard hair. 

Last night, I went to a meditation class (bear with me, I will pull this together, I promise). It was fantastic. I am REALLY trying to learn to control my stress levels thru journaling and meditation. My functional medicine Doctor prescribed both as part of my regimen. The journaling, I've got. The meditation, not so much. But, last night, I got it. I think I actually entered a meditative state.

Driving, in my opinion, can be very stress-relieving, or it can be very stress-inducing. It's all about your mental state. So, today, I tried to pull out the mediation from last night while I was driving. I think I actually achieved some meditation while driving. Safe? I hope, but I'm not sure (I didn't go to sleep though!) When I remember disengaging the meditative state, the first thought I had was, "dang, look at all those cars with dents".

Who drives around with a big, ugly dent in their car? Not me! If Mark dents one of our cars, we have to fix it immediately! I started applying that to my body. Being overweight in my past was like a big dent on the exterior of the car I spend all my life in...
So, even though I'm not anywhere near blemish free at this point, I feel that I have made huge progress toward fixing the major dents in my exterior.

With those exterior dents fixed, or at least patched, now it truly is time to focus on the interior. Some days, I feel like I'm just taking all these "candy wrappers", "papers", and junk and slinging them in the floor of my interior. For instance, I was sick for about 10 days (I'm just now feeling better...thankfully), but during those 10 days, for some reason I felt the need to have some caffeine free diet Sundrop. I fed my body poison, so I littered the floor of my interior.

So, more and more, I'm going to focus on the interior. What does that look like? I don't know, but I'm working on that...and hopefully it'll help with my motivation which I have struggled with greatly as well.

Take an inventory. Look at the biggest issues, break them down to smaller issues. Check for the big dents. Fix those. Then move to the small dents while you're working on cleaning the interior.

Who the hell knows if this even makes any sense? Let me know your thoughts.

a moment to refocusonlife ~ motivation

If you've been following along, you may have noticed my lack of postings as of late. There are so many factors that have contributed, but the overall reason had been on simple thing: lack of motivation. 

I've had trouble trying to come up with motivational snipets when I have zero motivation for myself. So, I've been trying to figure out the motivation behind my lack of motivation...

The end of school came along and threw a wrench into my schedule. If you know me, you know that I thrive on a schedule. Secondly, we went to Mexico and everything I've preached about for months went into the Maya Riviera. I ate a large quantity of food (remember that I have no will power at a buffet). Alcohol was flowing freely--perhaps I had a Mojito (a single Mojito, yep, that's my story). 

Once we came home from Mexico, we were preparing to help Becky move to Florida. I don't know about you, but long hours in the car lead to endless snacking and not enough activity. 

During that trip, I became sick. I have a summer cold or some jazz still today. I drank a few diet drinks -- exercising my action by saying I was so sluggish that I needed caffeine. 

Let me just tell you, it's all BS. I've just been excusing myself and kidding myself. Well, enough already! 

What the hell is wrong with me? Somebody please help me find my Mojo! 

I know it's still out there...I just gotta find it. So, the rest of this weekend, I'm going to flip rocks, open closets, look in the hampers, but by god, I'm going to find that mojo!