a moment to refocusonlife ~ Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I've waited all year to say those words. I adore Christmas time. It truly is my favorite holiday. 

For me, it used to be all about the gifts. I guess it's age, but now it's more about spending time with my beautuful family and friends, seeing my kid's joy of ripping open their gifts, and the meals. 

Mark & Lauren 12/21/2013

I've discussed it before, but the buffet style meals are a huge problem for me. If I sit down at a table with a fixed portion of food, I'm fine, but if there's an endless supply of good food at my fingertips, I can barely contain myself. It's a weakness that I have NO idea how to overcome.

That coupled with the fact that I live in constant fear of regaining the weight I lost and this time of the year stresses me out at times. 

But, I choose to focus on one hour at a time. I truly am a food addict. If there's one thing I know about addiction, it's that addiction can be controlled, but never cured. I live with that knowledge, so I make choices every day knowing that I may relapse. 

Me & Christian 12/21/2013

Last night at a Christmas party (Saturday 12/21), I relapsed. I ate my weight in food that I haven't eaten in months. That was last night. I choose to move forward today and live with the knowledge that I've made a huge mistake, but I also choose to start over today. 

So, just for today, I will eat like my disease (diabetes) mandates. I say just for today, but if I have to live hour by hour or minute by minute, then I will! 

Yes, it's Christmas, but unless I want to rehoe a row I've already been down, I will choose vegetables over cookies today. 

Alright everyone...here it comes: Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanza! Happy Hannakuh! I hope you all have an amazing holiday season! 

a moment to refocusonlife ~ stress

Hey Everyone! 

I'm really sorry about my delay in writing  a blog entry...I have no excuse except for a lack of time. 

What is it about this time of the year that causes so much stress? For me it's always centered around finding the perfect gift, spending too much money, and of course, I love to take time off at the holidays, so I push myself to do more in the days leading up to my vacation time. 

This year has been especially stressful for me. Normally, I post things on Facebook, check in, and tweet my every thought. Some people criticize me by suggesting that I am an "over sharer", but I enjoy the interaction with all my friends out there. But, this past week, something happened that I haven't mentioned in any status updates, tweets, instagrams, or pins...

My computer crashed. Yep, you heard me, my very expensive, awesome, wonderful, "I loved you more than life" MacBook Pro crashed. 

I know how this works. I grew up with a Dad as a mechanic. My car was always the last on the block to get fixed. There's another saying--"the cobblers kids have no shoes". Ain't it just the truth? 

Lauren sleeping. It has nothing to do with the post...
I just can't stand how stinkin' cute it is...

However, in my defense, my sweet, now soulless, Mac gave me no indication that he was suffering from a burnout. But last Friday he just didn't show up for work. And, his sudden irradical behavior has thrown me for a loop. A bigggg loop. 

The good news, this IT God right here...(yep, I'm talking about myself) I kept not one, but a minimum of two backups with other cloud based subscriptions that kept me sane over the past week. If anyone wants to know the solutions I use, let me know and I'll a share, but for now, let me just state that I haven't lost a single letter of data. But, that doesn't mean I'm not without my struggles. 

Those struggles have caused me stress. So much so, in fact, I felt like tonight was my breaking point. I needed a moment. I needed a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and caramel sauce. And a sausage ball...or 2. And a break. So, I took a break. 

I don't think there's a moral to this story, but maybe somewhere there is....if I were guessing, I would state that you should take it from your friendly IT guy....make sure you back everything up. Make sure you have a plan. And for goodness sake, keep some ice cream handy.

I'll be back on Monday. I plan to take the weekend off. I promise to impart some wisdom at that time...or maybe I will just ramble again...

Either way, until then...keep reaching for the stars (no, that isn't right...)

Until then, don't forget to take a minute to refocusonlife. 

Bye now...

a moment to refocusonlife - SMARTA*S

Happy Morning y'all!

Last week I promised I'd be back this week, so here I am! On 5/28/2013, I wrote about SMART goals that I had learned about from a class I was taking. You can read that post by clicking HERE.

On Facebook, Twitter, and by email, I follow a number of other blogs to be able to educate myself everyday. I enjoy the power of knowledge. Nothing is better than learning new techniques and relearning old techniques. Heidi Powell, (I've spoken about her Husband Chris Powell before), recently wrote a blog about SMART goals and I thought it was cool I had written about it before. Her blog has some interesting information and the SMART goal entry can be found by clicking HERE.

So, let's recap:
S: specific
M: Measurable
A: Attainable
R: Realistic
T: Time Bound

I decided that there were some things missing, so I added my own ideas to the SMART Goals as follows:

A: Aspiring
S: Selfless
S: Stength

ASPIRING: We should always be aspiring to reach our goals. No matter what, no matter where, no matter how, if you're even minutely aspiring to reach your goal, the goal is always in sight!

SMART words to live by...

SELFLESS: Since it's the giving season, let's all try to be just a little more selfless. Heck, if each of us would just spend a little more time being a little more selfless and giving of ourselves, the world would be such a better place! Give back to your community. Give to the homeless. Give to a charitable organization. Volunteer. Aspire to be selfless and you're goals will feel so much easier to reach. It truly is about the entire package, and not just our physical appearance.

STRENGTH: Everyone needs a little more strength in their lives. The strength to get thru another tough day. The strength to say, "no, I'm not going to eat that cake!" The strength to make a hard decision.

With that said, I hope each and every one of you will spend a few minutes and come up with your SMARTA*
S goal. Enjoy the day and remember to take a minute to refocusonlife.

a moment to refocusonlife ~~ Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Thankful for a super sweet daughter even if she is a heifer~~
11/27/2013 Banner Elk

I have to say, I do love Thanksgiving. Among other reasons, I've always loved the excitement of it being the last holiday before Christmas. But I also cherish the time spent with family, the parades, the TV specials, the food, and the whole shebang. 

This year, I feel especially thankful as I mentioned last week. I thought I would use pictures to show some of the things I'm thankful for...so, enjoy and I will be back next week (hopefully not a few pounds heavier due to turkey!)

Thankful for my Fallout Boy~~
Thanksgiving Day, 11/28/2013 Taylorsville, NC 

Thankful for the Turd on the right.

Thankful that I'm not either of these ASSHATS
(Good Grief I was a big 'ole thang!)

Thankful for Broadway! NYC 1/1/2013

Thankful I donated this suit.
 

Thankful for a beautiful family and that I'm
blessed with the best parents a boy could have!

Thankful that saving a little money doesn't motivate me to
miss Thanksgiving with my family. ~~ Best Buy 11/27/2013

a moment to refocusonlife - giving thanks

Happy Friday Friends!

Lots of people on Facebook are posting the things they are thankful for each day of November. It's become an annual tradition. At first, I have to say, it annoyed me. Yep, seeing people give thanks every day for an entire month was driving me nuts. That was last year. 2012. Over the course of my life since that time, I guess I have softened because when I saw it start happening again this year I had about 10 seconds of thought, "oh here we go again", but then I thought, "wait a minute, this might be fun!"

Well, it turns out I was wrong. It annoyed me again. Seeing people be thankful for trivial things annoys me. I can't help it. So…fast forward to today, November 22, 2013. I've been watching this stuff for 22 days now. I have yet to post what I am thankful for but trust me, my list of "thankfuls" is probably too long to be able to list in a single post a day for 30 days.

Never has that been more evident than yesterday. I had the great privilege to be involved in the Burke County iCare tour with several members of the Universal team. It was a truly eye-opening experience for me. The iCare tour gave us the opportunity to see the different resources around the Morganton area that are available to the homeless population. We saw the homeless shelters, the battered women's shelter, the recovery programs, and several other ministries. We saw what a typical day for a homeless person might look like and I'm telling you, it ain't pretty.

Universal's Warehouse Team 11/21/2013

So, with that said, I AM VERY thankful for what I have. I couldn't possibly list everything I AM thankful for, but the most important list would go something like my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my job, my home and the fact that I was in a comfortable place while writing this blog looking out a window at a cold, rainy morning. What would my life be like if I was stuck on that street out there with no where to go during the day?

Did you know that Burke County has no day shelters? The shelters we saw yesterday are open from 4:30 pm until around 8 am each night. While it's nice that the homeless population has a place to sleep, do we not ALL think that they might need a place to stay during the day?

So, my advice to everyone is to take a minute and give thanks (you don't have to post it on Facebook) today. And, after you're done giving thanks, find out what YOU can do to help others. There are so many volunteer positions out there just needing a body to fill them that it's unbelievable. If you're as lucky in life as I am, you'll take a minute to refocusonlife and find a place that your skills can be used.

Last night, I had another great privilege and that was donating my time to ALFA. I'm humbled each time I get the opportunity to help. If you want to be humbled and thankful…take a minute and look around you at the people that aren't as fortunate. It'll surely open your eyes.

With all of that said, remember to take a minute to refocusonlife y'all. It might just open your mind, your soul, and your heart.

Peace.

oh, and PS--if you want to give back in the form of an Angel Tree--ALFA seriously needs your help. Text me, email me or call me and I'll let you know how.

a moment to refocusonlife ~ what's the purpose?

Happy Tuesday my friends! I hope that each and every one of you are having a tremendously wonderful week! It may be your Monday today (yesterday was Veteran's Day) or this may be your Tuesday…either way, try to start the week and the day thinking about your purpose.

a pretty pitcher (meant to do that)

I found a quote that's been attributed to Buddha, "Your purpose in life is to find your purpose, and then give your whole heart and soul to it." Obviously Buddha didn't adhere to the cor

rect carb lifestyle, right? After all, one of his claims to fame (aside from the whole religious thing) is his big ole Buddha Belly! I used to have one of those, in fact, Mark used to tell me, "back away from the trough, Tubbo!"

Tubbo says...

Let's dissect that quote. "Your purpose in life is to find your purpose, and then give your whole heart and soul to it." How many of us can actually say that we've found our true purpose in life? Of that small subset of people that have found their purpose, how many actually give their whole heart and soul to it? I would bet that the percentage is very low, unfortunately.

I can truly say that I haven't found my true purpose, but I think I get closer and closer to it each day. I have discovered many things about myself, most of which happened after I decided to truly embrace who I am. It's often been said, and I believe it to be the absolute truth, that you cannot love someone else until you love yourself. These lines go hand in hand. I don't think you can find your true purpose in life until you learn to love yourself. How many of us actually love ourselves?

I've discovered that one of my purposes is to work with non-profits and organizations that help people. I'm not a people person, so I prefer to work in the background, doing the Information Technology (IT) stuff and helping develop a plan, but in the end, my work does help people. Do I think that my doing IT work is my true purpose? Hellifiknow. But, I try to give my heart and soul to everything I do. One of my purposes in this life, I'm sure of it, is to be a photographer. Lately, I've been missing in action when it comes to photography, but I plan to change that as soon as humanly possible.

What is your purpose? Are you giving your heart and soul to it? Think about it. Remember to refocusonlife for a few minutes because that can actually help you find what's truly in your heart and soul.

Peace out.

a moment to refocusonlife -- Jimmy?

Happy Hump Day once again y'all! It seems I just can't get this blog written each week prior to hump day! But, at least we are on the downswing of the week, right? We are barreling toward the weekend and I, for one, am ready!

20th Reunion. Ugh. 

Speaking of the weekend, last weekend was a travesty for me! Don't get me wrong, the weekend was incredible. I attended my first Bar Mitzvah and had my 20th high school reunion, all on the same day! What do these things have in common? Yep, you guessed it, a Buffet! And not a Jimmy or a Warren one either...a full fledged eat until your guy hurts, beautiful, waller in southern, comfort food buffet. 

Sage Buffet? 

Since I had known both of these Buffet's were coming up, I had made a conscious decision to "throw caution to the wind" and eat some dang food. I looked like a Piece of Work eating my weight at the Buffet. Mark even called me out at the reunion. But, I was Knee Deep in my current plate, so I finished it. When I was done, I may as well have been in Magaritaville because I was drunk on food. Oh, and yes, there were drinks flowing and I distinctly remember someone saying, Why Don't We Get Drunk? Was that you, Mark? 

We didn't, for the record, but come Sunday morning, I was regretting my food and drink choices because the scale called me out in a big way! Is it even possible to gain 4 pounds in one day!?

So, I decided to Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On. Come Monday, things would be different! After a weekend long binge, this week I've been Little Miss Magic! For the week, I'm 505 calories under budget! Hooray me! 

The moral of the story is, we all make mistakes, we all have transgressions, we all act like It's 5 O'clock Somewhere sometimes, but It's My Job (and your job) to not let those blips get the better of us! 

Carry on with your week everyone! Have a wonderful rest of the week, and don't forget to take a moment to refocusonlife!!

a moment to refocusonlife - betty white is hungry

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Does candy tempt you on this spookiest day of the year? Do your kids go trick or treating and come home with bags upon bags of candy?

Luckily, for me, I'm not in the least bit tempted by candy. I do enjoy a piece of dark chocolate or sugar free candy from time to time, but for the most part, I can easily turn that candy down. But, I know chocolate is a huge weakness for many people, so I thought I'd share some strategy. And, I'm not going to lie here, I could TEAR up a snickers bar right now! I have not had a Snickers in years! I'm beginning to feel like Betty White playing football (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXL8QPWLbBo).

But I digress, some techniques to get thru tonight without turning into Betty White:

Duke Power Lineman for Halloween :-) 

• Eat a piece of dark chocolate. Make sure it's 70% cocoa or more. There are actually studies that suggest Dark Chocolate is good for you in small quantities. 
• Grab a couple pieces of sugar free chocolate. The Sugar Free Reese's Peanut Butter Cups actually taste great, but be warned, the sugar alcohol's that are in them can cause disastrous side effects of the gastrointestinal kind if you eat much in a single setting. Besides, they are NOT low calorie, they just do not impact your blood sugar as much as a regular piece of candy would. 
• Go for the fruit! It's apple season! Grab an apple. Eat it whole or slice it up! But, eat the peeling and all. That's where the fiber is at. The fiber helps it to stick to your ribs and creates that feeling of fullness. 
• Speaking of sticking to your ribs, nothing is better than a spoonful of natural peanut butter or almond butter to fill you up, give you that sweet taste you're craving, and gives you a big bang for your buck. Don't eat too much, because it's high in calories, but it's a filling treat full of protein! (As a side note, if you're a diabetic experiencing hypoglycemia…nothing works better than a spoonful of peanut butter to cure that quickly and make you feel human again.)
• Drink water. Oftentimes, if feeling hungry, your body is telling you something. One thing our bodies tell us often is that they need more fluid! Water is the best. The next time you are thinking of reaching for a piece of candy, grab a bottle of water and down it. I guarantee it will help you ease those feelings of hunger. I know it sucks, but give it a try. Who knows, you might even feel proud of yourself for saving the calories later! 

Regardless of how tonight goes, if you decide to partake in some candy, like Betty White with a Snickers Bar, make sure you don't beat yourself up tomorrow. Hop right back on that wagon, grab the reins of the horse, and take control! Just because you had a slip up today, doesn't mean that you have to have a slip up tomorrow! 

Until next week, take a few minutes to refocusonlife and enjoy Halloween! 

Peace out y'all. 

a moment to refocusonlife - getting old?

Hey everyone! Sorry I missed last week. It was a crazy week for this old man! But, the show must go on, right?

Well, speaking of going on, Mark is going on 40! In fact, he turns 40 this week! Thank goodness I've got another year and half before that horrific birthday slips up on me, but just the fact that we are staring down our 40's like a hawk stares down it's prey, is becoming increasingly harder on me. 30 was bad for me, hopefully that is out of my system and 40 will just float right by me.

Yum, Yum Eat 'em up! 

What's odd to me is that at 38, I've started acting like an old man. On Friday, Mark and I went to dinner at Longhorn. We split a meal and drank water. We were, as pointed out by several Facebook friends, the old couple too cheap to buy our own meal and drinking water to save money! It was also suggested that maybe we should have dinner at 4pm to get our senior card fully punched! No, everyone, we are NOT ready for dinner at 4pm yet. 5:30 is about right. Give us a couple years.

The premise behind ordering one meal and splitting it was actually saving calories. We ordered one 12 oz steak, 2 salads, a baked sweet potato and an order of green beans. The 12 oz Ribeye split between the two of us actually creates a normal portion of meat for an adult male. No one needs more than 6 oz of meat as a serving. Sure, I WANT more than 6 oz, but I know that my body does not need more than a 6 oz serving. It's a great way to save money, calories, and share dinner with someone you love.

Speaking of love, I really am a lucky man. I want to wish Mark a happy 40th birthday. Really, Mark, it's not nearly as bad as it sounds. Wait, actually, it is because for the next year and a half, I'm going to be in my 30's while you're in your 40's. Good luck with that honey!

Don't forget to take a moment and refocusonlife.

Until next time y'all!

a moment to refocusonlife - just say no?

Happy Beautiful Fall Tuesday everyone!
For those of you that do not know, "a moment to refocusonlife" was inspired by my good friend Donna Rauschenberg. In conjunction with a wellness program she was doing in our office, she asked me to send out a weekly "inspirational" blurb to everyone at the office. At the time, I had just begun writing about my own personal journey in this blog, so I just decided to combine the two ideas and write about my journey once a week while sharing an inspirational message at the same time.

Now that you know the history, let's talk about the present. I'm not sure that Donna would want me to share this or not, but she and I have had many conversations over the past month or so in regards to her weakness for cake. There's a wonderful group of restaurants at the Forest City mall (Cafe at the Mall) that have beautiful cakes, pastries, and cookies along with an awesome menu that you would expect to find in Charlotte rather than Forest City. But, alas, there that place sits smack dab in the middle of a dead mall in Forest City tempting people on a daily basis. Donna has succumbed to that temptation on several occasions.

Evilness wrapped in a pretty pink bow...

I'm a foodie, but I definitely do NOT get tempted by cake, or at least I thought I did not until this past weekend. I had not eaten an entire piece of cake for over a year (at minimum since July 8, 2012). Do you see that past tense I'm using? I HAD not eaten...
Well, this past weekend, I went to a Christening and Adoption party for some dear friends of mine. (Congrats to their entire family!) At the party, they had an amazing professionally decorated cake. At first, I had resolved, "no cake for me". Then Maggie started talking about one layer of the cake being rainbow swirl and the other layer being strawberry. I admit, I was intrigued. With that intrigue over the rainbow swirl came the thought, "I'll just see what it tastes like."

As I walked up to get my piece of cake from the serving station, I thought, "if I'm going to eat cake, eat the whole slice!" And, I actually told Maggie, "if I'm going to screw up, I'm going to do it right!" So, I walked away with a small piece of cake that had been cut for me and a medium sized piece of cake that I asked to be cut for me. It was delicious. Then, like I was on the cast of the Walking Dead, I walked up and got a piece of the Strawberry cake! I went from not eating any cake to eating 3 pieces of cake. And, the night before, at another event, I had eaten cheesecake. Shame on me!

When I left the Adoption party, I decided Mark needed some cake (he had to work homecoming and sadly did not get to the adoption party), so I grabbed a plate with two pieces of cake to take home. Mark did great. He ate the smaller strawberry piece and tasted the rainbow swirl, but left most of it on the plate. I packed it up and left it in the fridge.

That night, I had a serious headache and my blood sugar was up at both of my next two readings. Lesson learned, right? Nope, I got up on Sunday morning and immediately thought of that cake. Thankfully, I was able to say no on Sunday. I made Lauren eat the cake before I was tempted further.

Donna, I owe you an apology because I did not know how difficult it actually was to avoid cake. The point here is twofold;

• Food can be an addiction and like any addition, difficult to break.
• Never under value the struggles others are facing. It may seem trivial to you, but monumental to them! 

So, with that said, I'm back "on the wagon" and thankfully my wagon is cake free! 

Enjoy this beautiful Fall weather! Get outside, exercise, and remember to refocusonlife without too much pastry...

a moment to refocusonlife - love yourself

Hi Everyone!

First off, let me apologize for not writing last week. I was terribly busy, but that's no excuse! But, I'm back in all my glory this week! Happy Monday morning!

Recently, I went to The Green Room (TGR) in Newton to see Hairspray. It's amazing the amount of talent and great entertainment we have so close to home. I have to hand it to TGR on their ability to make a top-notch production right here in our backyard! Huge props go out to them on the legs they break at every single show!

Don't you DARE try to stop this beat! 

Hairspray has amazing music, a wonderful story, and has more laughs than a barrel of monkeys! There are many inspiring lyric in the play, but one of my favorites comes from the song, "Big, Blonde and Beautiful". What a fun, inspiring song. Possibly my favorite line in the song is "one day my grandma who was big and stout she said you gotta love yourself from inside out". How great is that? Stuck in the midst of a song that is totally opposite my normal message on this blog about health eating and choices, is a line that tells us we should love ourselves no matter what.

Okay, so maybe just for the purpose of this blog, we'll skip over the following line, "bring on that pecan pie, pour some sugar on it"...
But hey, we have to all learn to love ourselves no matter what reflection we see when we look in the mirror.

Another great thing about Hairspray was the talent in the show. A really good friend of mine played Edna Turnblad in the show. Many times throughout the course of the show, David posted inspirational messages on his Facebook page. One really touched me deep down to the core, David stated, "I am thankful for the applause and love that will help show the members of our audiences who are different, it's ok to be and do you...after all. You can't stop the BEAT!"

It's funny where we pickup inspirational messages. Who'da thunk that I would learn something from a comedy with guys and girls in big fancy wigs? Oh, that's right, I KNEW I would. Let's open our hearts and minds and love ourselves and one another for who we are!

a moment to refocusonlife - a love letter

My Sweet,

I miss you terribly. I haven't seen you since July 6th, 2012. How can it be possible that we've been apart for so long? Yet, the days keep passing and I keep missing out on your golden, sweet love. You've moved too far away from me. Life without you is dull. 

Asparagus anyone? 

You tempted me with your evil ways for far too long. I was forever in your grips. I thought our love affair would never die. In fact, I was sure of it. I couldn't live without you. 

Fortunately, for me, life has gone on. I have replaced your salty whispers with savory goodness in every aspect of my life. But, that's not to say that I'm not forever in your crispy hands. 

We have met on the streets but I pass you by without a word. You used to be a supersized portion of my life, now your deliciousness touches my lips only in singles. 

But never fear, I have decided that you aren't important to me. Over the course of this letter, it has become clear to me that I have made the correct decision. You will forever be banished from my life no matter how wonderful you are. McDonald's, Zaxby's, and Ore Ida try their best to tempt me back, but never fear, I have resolve of steel that is no longer capable of being lured by your deep-fried crispiness! 

With that, I shall close this letter, and forever bid you goodbye. Goodbye my devilish French Fry. I'll see you on the other side. My heart truly thanks you. 

a moment to refocusonlife - our choices count

Yesterday, the kids and I had an evening appointment, so we were not home to cook. The three of us went to Chili's where I ordered the most low-carb item that I could find, the chicken fajitas. Lauren and Christian both ate great as well. What a wonderful evening spent with my wee ones!

Choose slow and relaxing over quick and cheap! 

When we arrived home, Mark was complaining about how bad he felt. He was sick on his stomach. He was totally zapped of energy. For dinner, because we weren't home to cook together, he decided to go to Papa John's and have one of their $5 Monday specials. Economically great, but not a great choice for him. See, not only have we not been eating that kind of food for quite a while, the amount of grease he encountered was probably more than he had had in 2 months combined. I cook with very healthy oils and as little of those as possible. They add too many calories!

The point here is this, today Mark thanked me for the dinner I cooked tonight, Baked Chicken with sautéed green beans and brussel sprouts. It was very light, even though it was parmesan encrusted chicken. After we finished, Mark said, "it's amazing the difference of how refreshed I feel after eating on of our healthy meals versus what I ate yesterday".

Quick, easy, and cheap is best left to the street walkers rather than on our table and our forks.

That's all I got y'all. I'm tired and not making sense, so I think I'll stop here!

Have a great week and remember to take a moment to refocusonlife!

a moment to refocusonlife - absolute value

Happy Tuesday everyone!
I absolutely hate it when a Tuesday parades around and acts like Monday, but I sure did enjoy the long weekend!

I thought I would start off this week with a math lesson. My daughter, Lauren, would be so pleased (she says math hates her). Thinking of Lauren, I'll try to keep this simple...

Pretty picture that has ABSOLUTEly no relevance to the post

Absolute Value is "the magnitude of a real number without regard to its sign". It is denoted by putting parallel, vertical lines on both sides of the number. For example, |-9| would be the absolute value of -9, which is actually a positive 9! It's like the lines are hugging the negativity out of that 9!

Don't you just love math? I know I do. But even more importantly, I love anytime I can take something and turn a negative into a positive! Yes, life throws us curveballs daily, but what good does it do to sulk around and be negative about the jabs that other people, electronics, stress, and everything else throws our way? I can answer that question, it does no good whatsoever!

So, the next time you feel yourself slipping into a bad or negative mood, get a hug from someone and think of that hug as being the absolute value of your negativity. |negativity| = POSITIVITY!

Think about it. And, don't confuse the absolute with Absolut...that's not the answer either! (I threw that in there for the commentary I was anticipating from Pattie!)

Enjoy this short, wonderful week y'all!

a moment to refocusonlife - Aim Higher!

Happy Tuesday to all my peeps out there!
Rev. Flemon McIntosh, Jr stated, "The greater danger for most us is not that the aim is too high and we miss it, but the aim is too low and we reach it."

Think about that for a minute...
How often have we set goals for ourselves that are truly high enough for the potential that each and every one of us have? While I've read about, and posted here before, about setting specific, attainable goals, it's also VERY important to have lofty goals.

Try not to eat too many of these! <Hey, now there's a goal!>

When I started on my journey, about 15 months ago, I started with easy, reachable goals. I wanted to make sure that I avoided the foods that I knew were triggers. That was my short term goal. For my long term goal,  I gave myself 6 months to lose 59 pounds.

I still find myself working on short term goals that give me a feeling of success in the present, but I try to consciously stay aware of the long range plans that keep me reaching for the stars. This week, because I've recently saw my blood glucose numbers rise a bit (due to a change in medications), I've vowed to eat fewer starchy carbohydrates each day. That's my plan for this week. Who knows what next week might bring. But, while I'm focusing on my weekly (or daily) goal, the long range plan right now is to be able to compete in the Warrior Dash in May 2014.

So, take a minute today to refocusonlife and set some small goals, but make sure that you also aim higher and set your long range goals. With that in mind, as Casey Kasem always said, "keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!"

I hope that each and every one of you have a fantastic week! Best of luck to all the kids, parents, and teachers out there that started back to school this week! May it be the best year ever!

a moment to refocusonlife - letting go!

It's hard to let go of things. I have some trinkets, some jewelry, and a few books that I've held onto for years for no reason other than the sentimental value they hold. I do not mind the fact that this stuff more or less clutters up a small drawer or two at home. They have meaning. I want to keep them.

Me in my suit 10/27/2011

But, something I did not want to keep, but had trouble letting go of was all my "fat clothes" (Hey--I call a spade a spade--sue me!) Yes, fear paralyzed me even though my waist is now approximately 8 inches smaller around than it was before. (Yep, I was wear size 40 or 42" pants and I can now wear a 33" waist.) It truly is fear that kept my closet full of those clothes.

Fear of the what if's? Most people who lose weight gain it back, right? Most people who lose weight gain it back plus some, right? I hate thinking like that, but it's reality. I've heard it over and over from Doctor's, to talk show hosts, to random articles on the internet. It's a statistical fact! So, I better hang on to those big clothes so I don't have to spend money on an entirely new wardrobe again!

Me in one leg of the same
suit pants 8/17/2013

WRONG. This weekend, I took the first step in an emotional healing process. I cleaned out our closet. We had three 6-foot long racks full of clothing. From those 18 feet of clothing, I culled down what I could wear to about 5 feet of clothing I've bought in the past 6 months.

Yes, it felt good, but at the same time my stomach was knotted. I, truly, was near panic mode when I started. But, in the end, Mark encouraged me, helped me, and we truly did a spiritual, emotional, and physical cleansing of the fat men we were before!

We will traverse this journey together. If I gain 5 pounds, I'll work harder to take that 5 pounds back off! I will NOT allow myself to slip up and end up back in the same (much larger) boat that I was in before!

It's time we all let go of some of the emotional and physical baggage we carry around with us every single day! It's just time-consuming, harmful, and not worth the energy!

What are some things you need to let go of?

a moment to refocusonlife

Have you had the opportunity to see the Geico commercial with the camel? That's right, what's today? You guessed it! Hump day! Happy Hump Day everyone! At least we know the camels out there are excited today is Wednesday. I'm a little less thrilled than a camel that it's hump day, but at least we're almost to the top of the workweek hump and will soon be making our way back down the other side. Let's hear it for the second half of the week!

refocus on sunset 8/13/2013 Lake James

Every single hour of every single day of every single week, we are faced with choices. Sometimes those choices put us up against some really tough decisions. We need to be courageous to make some decisions and deal with the rewards or consequences of those decisions. Mark Twain once said, "courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

So, remember if you're faced with tough circumstances today, tomorrow, or next hump day, make sure you realize that even the most successful, the most powerful, and the strongest people in the world have moments of fear, but those people know that conquering our fears and weaknesses are the cornerstones of success.

Be well. "Be happier than a camel on Wednesday" and remember to take a moment to refocusonlife today!

a moment to refocusonlife

Happy Tuesday! 

Yep, it's late on Tuesday, but it's still Tuesday. I waited until 9pm to write this blog entry to make a comparison between yesterday and today. As I've mentioned before, I like gadgets. One of my favorites is my Fitbit One. It's a pedometer and sleep monitor. Mark and I have been having "step challenges" to see if we can make it to certain number of steps a day. 

Me and Scooter 8/5/2013

Many weekend days, we have a 10,000 step challenge. It's harder throughout the week for me to get that many steps. Monday, August 5th, I took the day off to spend with my family. We took a trip to Catawba Falls in Old Fort. As a result, Mark and I challenged one another with a 10,000 step challenge. Yesterday, I finished the day with 13,436 steps (the equivalent of 6.24 miles). Wow! What a day! 

Today, I returned to the office. As of 9pm, I had accumulated 3,240 steps (1.51 miles). Wow! What a BAD day! I even made an effort to walk more today. I made extra trips to the printer and moved stuff to storage in my office in an effort to clean up a bit. 

The point here is, my daily goal (according to fitbit and other research) is 10,000 steps. It's incredibly difficult to reach that many steps a day when the bulk of my day is spent sitting in front of a computer. Armed with that knowledge, I have to actively work harder each and every day to be more active. 

So, don't be surprised when you see me running around the office, making extra trips to the printer, and standing at my desk. All the while, working hard at putting out all the IT fires that come my way! Of course, there's only so much activity a person can get when the J O B requires hands on keys...

Anyone have any suggestions for me? 

a moment to refocusonlife

Hi Everyone!

“There are two cardinal sins from which all others spring: impatience and laziness.” ~~Frankz Kafka

It turns out that I completely agree with Kafka. To be successful with anything, we cannot be impatient and we definitely cannot be lazy. Combine impatience with laziness and any house of cards that we have built will come crashing down around us! It’s been nearly 13 months since I began losing weight. It seems like it took forever to lose the weight, but I can tell you it took me a lot longer than 13 months to have gained that 88 pounds in the first place!

Many times, I hear people ask why it takes so long to see results when exercising and eating right, but think about that, I lost 88 pounds in 12 months (I’ve been maintaining for a while now), so that means I lost 7.3 pounds per month. That means I lost approximately 1.83 pounds a week or a quarter of a pound a day. When you look at it in that manner, does it really seem like an insurmountable problem?

So, make sure you look at the big picture, but never forget to break that big picture down and refocus just a bit on the smaller, more significant goals that make each day a new journey!

Impatience and laziness will make goals seem just out of our reach. So, buck up, plan for the long term and get out of that seat to realize those goals! 

a moment to refocusonlife

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

This past weekend, I had a near death experience. Yep, that’s right; I nearly drowned at the National Whitewater Center. I have the scraped knees to prove it!

Been a LONG time since I had one of these! 

I have a fear of water, so I knew better than to try to whitewater raft again before I ever suited up to jump in the raft. But, I was with Mark and I promised him that I would give it one more try (this was the 4^th and the last try). 

I have a deep-seeded childhood based fear of water. I can actually pinpoint back to a specific moment in time in a swimming pool at Myrtle Beach, SC that caused my lifelong fear. I have overcome this fear to be able to enjoy riding the Sea Doo’s at Lake James, take a cruise, and generally enjoy water in my own comfort. And, of course, I shower twice daily, so it’s not a crippling fear, but it will stop me from whitewater rafting again.

The point here is this: I faced my fear on Saturday. I may not have conquered or overcome the fear, but I did not let it stop me (at least at first—there was NO WAY I was getting back in that raft after nearly dying even if the guide was in danger of getting fired for leaving me on the side of the river). I’ve watched many weightloss and inspirational shows, I’ve read many articles, and basically they all say the same thing: you have to conquer your demons to be able to effect change.

So, today, I ask you to refocusonlife for a minute, decide what your biggest “demon” is and try to figure out how you can conquer that demon! Meanwhile, you can find me with my little inflatable wings and rubber ducky in the bathtub with the water running in the fetal position, sucking my thumb and asking for my Mommy.

Have a great day y’all!  

a moment to refocusonlife

Hi Everyone!

This past weekend, we rode our bikes at the Greenway. On Saturday, we rode and rode and rode. When all was done, we had ridden about 12 miles. We were enjoying the ride, seeing the sights, hanging out with the kids, and I truly wasn’t thinking about the fact that I was riding so far and exercising. When we finished, Mark said, “We just rode 12 miles”. I couldn’t believe it; he had to prove it to me.

Turn Around, don't Drown! 

On Sunday, we decided to go ride again. This time my brain was focused on the fact that I had ridden 12 miles on Saturday. I was not physically able to ride that far. We rode about 4 miles before we stopped and called it a day. I was physically exhausted. What was the difference between the 12 mile ride on Saturday and the 4 mile ride on Sunday? Why couldn’t I ride as far on Sunday?

It’s called mind over matter. On Saturday, I was focused on enjoying the time with my family and riding. We stopped occasionally to talk, but it was a grueling 12 miles. I didn’t think about the fact that it was 12 miles. On Sunday, it was just Mark and I riding as Lauren and Christian were enjoying their friends and free time. We focused on the exercise. I focused on the distance. My mind was constantly focused on the actual exercise instead of the enjoying the experience.

If we would spend more time living in the moment, refocusing on life, and just enjoying the things that surround us, things would probably seem less difficult. This applies to work, home, exercise, and a whole range of experiences. Next time you are dreading exercising, try to get some friends to go with you somewhere that you can enjoy the scenery. When you’re not focused on the “work” at hand, it seems a lot less like work, but the benefits are the same! And, it’s good for the psyche!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

a moment to refocusonlife -- a milestone!

Happy Tuesday Friends!

Holy sweet lord, look at my starting weight!?

Yesterday marked a milestone for me. It was my one year anniversary of the beginning of my weightloss journey. I began on 7/8/2012. And, what a year it has been! I’m down 88 pounds and 34.11% of my original body weight. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful I feel. How different I feel. How much more energy I have! And, I realized that weight truly does play a huge role in the onset of problems so numerous that ain’t nobody got time for dat!

What I do have time for is the fact that today is a milestone for me as well…as I’ve moved into completely uncharted territory. Where do I go from here? How do I maintain what I’ve achieved? What’s the next step? I’ve never lost weight, achieved my goal, and been at goal for any length of time. I always wind up losing the war. But, this feels good. This feels different. I CANNOT lose this war or even lose a single battle!

7/6/2013 Pretty in Pastels...

So, I’ve set a new goal. Mark (sorry babe) and I will participate in the Warrior Dash in May of 2014. I don’t even know where to begin. What kind of training is required? What kind of shape do we need to be in to participate? Should we set a time goal or just an “I need to finish this” kind of goal? It’s a place to focus. Also, in that training is the thoughts that I’ll run the Hike for Hope +5k next year.

What’s that you say? I’ve been “running” the Hike for Hope for years, but in 2014, I plan to be a participant and support it thru that means, rather than thru the organizational means. I can’t wait! I can’t wait to see the event from a different perspective!

I’m so excited about the endless possibilities. I’ve set my mind to it. I’ve set the goals. Now, again, it’s time for action. How achievable are these goals? I start today. Today is the day that I find out the answers. Every day is the chance for a new beginning. Today is the day.

Well, it appears that I’m asking more questions than I am giving answers this week, so I’ll finish by saying, will you all follow along?

a moment to refocusonlife

Happy Tuesday Y’all!

A Beacon of Light! 

Well, it’s Tuesday. It’s raining. And, my annual weeklong vacation is over for another year. Can’t say that I have much to look forward to, but I’m going to try to swing that around and focus on the positives.

1)      I have a job that allowed me to go on vacation and it was waiting for me when I got back!

2)      Thursday is a paid holiday! (Happy 4^th of July!)

3)      Friday evening begins a fun filled weekend!

4)      After going thru the 500 emails, it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming at it might have appeared on the surface!

5)      I’m already planning the next vacation! Shhhhhh…don’t tell Mark!

So, next time you get down, give yourself a pep talk and try to pull yourself back up, refocus on the positive and look at the bright side!

And, if you need some pretty pictures to look at, check out my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/refocusonlife. I’m going to try to start posting more things there and keeping it fresh. I have to get back into my photography! Vacation reminded me how much I truly love it!

Have a safe and happy holiday and week!

a moment to refocusonlife

Hey friends!

I don’t want to continue to harp on my weightloss, but it truly has been life altering in so many ways. I truly ONLY share these stories to inspire and motivate people.

The Pamlico Sound Boys

We are spending this glorious week at the Outer Banks of NC. Corolla, NC to be exact. As I type this, I’m sitting on the balcony looking across dunes at the waves rolling and crashing on the shore. And, it’s HOT. In fact, it’s been very hot this week.

One year ago for vacation, I spent the week at VA Beach. I remember being miserable. Very miserable. When we arrived last year, I had sweat completely thru my clothing by the time we had the luggage unpacked. This year, I’ve ridden my bike for miles, climbed the dunes, carried suitcases up and down steps, and I have yet to break more than a few beads of sweat.

One of the hidden beauties of being a normal weight, I suppose, is not sweating. It just reinforces to me that idea that I NEVER, ever want to gain the weight back. It gives me great motivation to maintain.

Enjoy your week, I know I will!

a moment to refocusonlife

Happy Monday Everyone! Oh, wait, it’s TUESDAY! Better late than never, right?

In fact, that’s true, the next time you’ve eaten a slice of cake for breakfast, remember that you can jump right back on the “program” before lunch! Grab an apple for a snack, go for a walk, and then get your mindset in place for a healthy lunch, because it’s better late than never!

We can apply “better late than never” to many aspects of our lives. There are choices at every intersection. Do you feel you’ve been making wrong turns? Think about at the next intersection you come to and remember, positive and healthy choices are better late than never!

I hope that you all have a wonderful day! Enjoy the summer sun. Stop and refocusonlife. Take in the small things, like the beautiful green plants that so enjoy summer!

Be good y’all! 

a moment to refocusonlife

Over the past few years, I have begun taking better care of myself and it has given me more confidence. 

From my orthodontics to my weightless and my yearning for knowledge, I have been a work in progress. I am so happy to report that the changes I have made are working! But I'm far from done!

My confidence is growing. There's a certain ego boost to having an employee at the dentist office (that I go to only once every six months) tell you that a coworker of hers saw me at the kids school and came back to the office and mentioned how much weight I had lost. It really does help with the self-esteem. 

So, make a plan, create a "bucket list" and start working your way towards feeling better physically, emotionally, and spiritually! 

Have a great week everyone! 

a moment to refocusonlife

Good Monday Morning!

I hate weekends. Nope, there’s no need to have your eyes checked, I said what you think I said. I hate weekends. No, that doesn’t mean I’m thrilled that it’s Monday, but what it does mean is that I’m a creature of habit. I love having a schedule. I love planning. I love feeling in control.

On the weekends things are so willy-nilly that I get off base. I lose focus. I get caught up in the moment. It’s easier for me to keep the focus on my health goals when I have a plan. For instance, Saturday Mark and I went to the opening reception of the Western NC Studio Glass Exhibition at the downtown arts galleries. They had food! They had unhealthy, yummy, food! Normally this would not pose a problem for me, as I truly have resolve of steel and can work my way around a table from the crackers, chips, and breads to the veggie platters, but Saturday was a special case, we had gone out on the Sea Doo’s all Saturday morning and skipped lunch. By the time we arrived at the Arts Exhibition, I was famished. That was simply bad planning on my part and it was a recipe for disaster!

I’m not saying that I couldn’t plan for the weekends; sometimes I just do it all wrong. So, a new goal for me is to figure out why I can’t handle willy-nilly and figure out a way to fix that issue. Another issue for me on the weekends is that I tend to do more things with people outside my immediate family, such as Mark’s Mom’s birthday party yesterday. It’s a lot more difficult to avoid my “triggers” when I have no control over the items being served. Yesterday, I ate a piece of cake and a piece of pecan pie! It was delicious, don’t get me wrong, but when I was finished, I definitely felt that I had made a huge mistake.

Let’s all practice planning a little better. Planning, for me, has always equaled success. The next time I know I’m going into a reception or a party, I’m going to plan to take my own, more suitable crackers and/or dessert. I’ll also make sure I eat prior, so as to not engorge myself with lots of foods that aren’t part of my plan! I’m not going to hate on the weekend too awfully much or beat myself up over mistakes in the past, but I have decided to learn from this weekend’s transgressions and move forward on a better path. After all, if we don’t learn from our past we are doomed to repeat it! With summer coming up, the schedule will be as willy-nilly as it comes, so I best get to work on my education!

Have a great week and don’t forget to stop and refocusonlife just a bit…